Opposition...

Being back in Kansas City I have had time to reflect on the experiences of my life and the challenges that have come my way. I have been torn down as a person and even as a pastor many times but God is always there to help me back up.
Many of my readers know that I suffer from chronic daily headaches. Headaches that do not stop but are active every second of my life and are horrible that they want me to scream out from the pain. The medical community could not help me but decided to tell me that I am the 1% that can not be cured and walked away from me.
My headaches have plagued me for over 23 years and every day is a struggle. Yet, everyday I am blessed because I feel God's presence helping me up each time my conscious state wakes to this reality. I have learned that I am allowed to speak so many words per day before my headaches increase so often I am a  silent person. These headaches are also affected by movement for example facial expressions. In my pain I do not wear correct facial expression sometimes and people misread my intent.

In life I have been challenged, ridiculed, pushed side, and told I can not do it. I would focus and force past the pain to prove them wrong. Whatever I set my mind to I will achieve because with God anything is possible.

In ministry I have been questioned on my lack of excitement for not understanding the pain I have. I have been refused many times to do what I was called for because my headaches are weakness. A person in ministry should not have weakness?
I am often reminded of the scripture 2 Corinthians 12:9
'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'
Yes my headaches are my thorn in my side and my greatest weakness but God shows his strength and I will always give him the glory and honor.

Yet, I have found opposition. Through out my 8 years of being a pastor I have been torn down and told what I can not do. I will only focus on two examples for I fear if I did not this message would be lost in the words of rumblings.

The first was when I was called to co-pastor a hip-hop church in Cleveland, Ohio. I was the co-pastor, children's pastor, assistant to youth ministry, community outreach director, and sat on the board as this was a church plant on the West Side. I worked and connected to other resources and networked with other pastors as I went broke. I saw corruption in the lead position and knew it was time for me to leave but on my day of birth the leader verbal attacked me making me numb for months and questioning ministry.
God helped me back up and healed the wounds and reminded me of the call placed on my life.

The second was when I stood alone working with several congregations and helping in any area they needed as I preached. I was also the Sunday School teacher, youth pastor, community outreach, planned community events. I worked hard and connected to great resources and networked with people that wanted to see a better community. But on my last day I was told by someone I have great respect for and saw as someone I would want to be someday that I do not have skills to be a pastor, and other issues that targeted my life as a pastor. Once more torn down, but every day God is with me and helps me back up.

I know I am not alone in this opposition. God knows the work I did and the sincere love I put into knowing the people and teaching them about Him. God knows the several times I drove to help my youth and be with them. God knows the times I drove to the hospital to pray over church family members. God knows the struggles I have been through and the how much I poured myself into that ministry.

I have pushed many people away from me that try to get me to focus on the world and leave God behind. I refuse to listen and I will always listen to the call God has given to me even with my weakness. I will stand alone if need be against the opposition, but I am glad I do not have too because God is always with me. 

I hope this helps someone to know you are not alone. You have struggled against others telling you that you are not able to do it. They have wounded you and hurt you badly. I hope you know that in this reality you can do anything with God beside you. We need to forgive and seek a time for healing so when we stand back up we are stronger then before. God will never leave you nor forsake you.

We stand together.